What effect has divorce had on your children?
I’m writing a paper for my psychology class on the effects of divorce on children. If anyone could share their personal experiences (either as the child or as a divorcee with children) I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
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well i was a toddler when my parents divorced. i hate how my mom and dad never can get along (still).
my mom didnt really talk about it in a bad way, and she chose her words carefully, but my dad had the weekends with us and he always (to this day-and im 21) will talk bad about her and tell lies about it and hes always tried to buy my love. it made me feel… stuck in the middle, like i was the judge. i love my dad and mom, but i dont want to have to choose who i believe.
on the other side of things, becuase of the divorce my mom had to work night shift and i went through tons of babysitters in there teens and my sister (i only have one) who is only 15 months older than me basically raised me- which wasnt good becuase she and i never got along. i love her but she still treats me like crap and talks about how she hated having me tag along everywhere with her and how horrible i was as a sister. she resented that she had to take care of me i guess. and it made me feel lonely. i had to move alot and we never ahd much money and i couldnt keep friends for long and so my sister was my shoulder- one that didnt care.
on one more note, my sister is only my half sister- and my dad has so much resentment that hes not my sisters dad, that he and his GF always favored his GF kids first, then me and everyone hated my sister. i always tried to protect her and stuff but she was so mean to me and although it hurt me so bad that she was hurting and took the blame for everything any of my step sisters or step brother did - and sometimes for what i did (becuase my step siblings would try to get me out of something just to see my sister suffer and blame it on her) that i sometimes really really didnt like her becuae she didnt appreciate me trying to help her like she took care of me.
my aunt has a 7 and 1.5 yr old and is going through a divorce and her 7 yr old is stuck telling her mom all the mean secrets her dad tells her - like how his gf is moving in and not to tell mommy… and she feels stuck too. her youngest daughter is acting out by biting and screaming too. i hate divorce.
My four kids are doing great, but we’re only two years down the road. There have been many long-term studies done on this and they all say the same thing, it affects every child negatively.
"Children whose parents have divorced are increasingly the victims of abuse. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are involved more frequently in crime and drug abuse, and have higher rates of suicide.
Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation.
Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent. Almost 50 percent of the parents with children that are going through a divorce move into poverty after the divorce.
Religious worship, which has been linked to better health, longer marriages, and better family life, drops after the parents divorce."
tired answer these ???
i am a child of divorce and my children are also point 1 it is a vicious cycle thought i could of break it but i ended up the same way i was very disappointed with my dad we are not close never will be because when i needed him he was not there. it pains me to have this happen to my children my 12 yr old is giving lots of problems at sch and home it has a lot to do with her dad not visiting or calling and a child needs attention and affection from their dad to feel valued hope this helped
im 15 and my mum and stepdad split a few months ago and my stepdad moved out two weeks ago, my stepdad was like my real dad as my real dad walked out on me my mum and my sister when i was 9, i didnt take it too well as i didnt understand what I’D done wrong, looking back now i realise he was a prick. anyway now i realise as my mum and stepdad are in the process of divorce that they are just like me and want to be happy and there is no reason letting me and my sister be happy when they arent so i understand that it is for the best , naturally i do get upset now and then but i know its for the best. the worst part of the whole thing has been when my stepdad was still living with us whilst trying to find a place, it was as if nothing was different and nothing was happening,
hope this has been helpful,
find me if you can if you want to know anythin else
If you email Glenn Sacks he can provide you with reference material.
http://www.glennsacks.com
You will find the have a 400% higher rate of early sexual activity, drug use, criminal behavior, etc. Children with constantly arguing parents even do better.
One book I can recommend is Fatherless America, I believe by David Blankenhorn.
My daughter is happy that we got divorced, because of the constant fighting. She was 8 when we divorced, is 17 now. She said we make better friends than we did as a couple (we agreed to try to get along for her sake).
It depends on the circumstances, but my ex was using drugs and drinking and not working, and in addition to all the hell he was causing, I didn’t want her to grow up thinking it was OK to live that way.
I know I made the right decision, and he has since tried to become a better person for her sake.