Things are so over the top with "full and open disclosure", etc these days, including ones personal life, I just wondered about a few scenarios.

1. Lets say for instance a General Manager of a company is divorced and joins an expensive dating agency and meets a new partner there. Whoever he answers to (his boss) and all the staff at his company, are told by him, when they ask where he met his new partner, that he’s met this lady through friends, or some such other "white lie" as he doesn’t want to say he went to a dating agency or dating website. Can he get into trouble for "lying" or "breach of trust" if it’s ever found out he in fact didn’t meet the lady through friends at all?

2. Employee wants to leave the company so they "lie" to their employer and ask to leave early as they feel sick or ask for time off to go to the dentist, etc, but really they are going to a job interview. Once they resign, when they get the new job, can they be seen as a "dishonest" and perhaps be dismissed instead of being able to resign? Everyone tells these "white lies" to get a new job, but some employers are just being so over the top with honesty these days, I wonder if any would actually get angry and officially accuse you of dishonesty?

3. Employee is going through a trial separation or other personal family problem (perhaps one of their kids is on drugs or something and there is nothing in his employment agreement stating that you have to mention drugs, unless it’s relating to you personally), do they have to reveal this to their employer, even if asked? Including if they are asking to leave work early to deal with something in regard to this? Or is it ok to "white lie" about the reason for wanting time off? Stating something like "I have a family or personal problem I need to leave early for" could just invite unwanted questioning so most would prefer to do the "going to the dentist" routine. And if they are undergoing a trial separation but haven’t told their employer they have changed their address, is that wrong?

Last year my husband and I were in marriage counseling together, sometimes seeing our therapist separately. In one of our first visits she told us that "trial separations almost always lead to divorce" and didn’t recommend it.
Recently, my husband admitted to me that one of the reasons he didn’t want to continue with her (mostly due to to a complete lack of actual guidance) was that she told him during one of his sessions that he should consider a trial separation from me.
Given her previous statement…am I crazy, or did she basically tell him to leave me?
I think that if that’s your honest recommendation, that a couple shouldn’t be together, you should tell them that together, not go to one spouse and drop ideas in their ear. Was this an ethical move? It just doesn’t seem right to me, and I am really bothered since having heard about it.

My wife and I have been married for five years. After a couple years worth of ups and downs and an inability to communicate effectively through what I think are some pretty normal marital problems, my wife decided a couple of months ago that she wanted a divorce. The decision came on the heels of a seemingly insignificant argument. We have gone to counseling only a couple of times and we have briefly lived separately which really amounted to me being home all the time, but sleeping somewhere else; not a whole lot changed – this is the extent of our therapy. My wife is adamant that she wants this divorce and will seek no further therapy, advice, or anything that would suggest the contrary; she also refuses a stricter trial separation to really test the waters. We have a 3 year old son and I’m trying to avoid this from happening but believe its now out of my hands. I’ve tried to amicably hash out a separation agreement and she is trying to secure a refinance on our house but I think she’s sort of dragging her feet. She got really upset the other night when we were talking about how we would divide our belongings. Oddly, if the subject doesn’t come up, watching us you would never know we were seriously contemplating divorce. Except for there being no outward affection everything is normal and we get along fine. I’m really concerned about how well she has thought this through and if her feelings could change once the ink dries, which I think, is likely to happen. She recently turned 33 and I believe she is having a premature mini mid-life crisis which plays some role in this decision. She’s at the point where she does not want the daily responsibilities of being a wife, mother, etc. She would rather be shopping, dinning, or partying to the sun comes up with friends.

I’ve been an outstanding husband and father and have really gone through a lot of grief standing idly by, taking care of my son, while she’s pursuing what makes her happy (above), but feel in my heart that if she thought this through she would see it’s not our only alternative, with help we could overcome this. Unfortunately I have not been able to rule out an emotional (maybe more) attachment elsewhere, can’t be sure. Talking to her has gotten me nowhere; she’s very proud (especially with me) and half the time she says A but really means B. She has expressed concerns to her friends that have gotten back to me and although it made me feel better knowing she still had some feelings, these concerns weren’t show stoppers. What would be the best course of action right now? Should I kill her with kindness and love and see if I can’t clear up some of her confusion in a good way? Should I make it easy for her to proceed with a divorce? Should I sit tight and I wait it out? Is she confused as to what she really wants or am I kidding myself? Anyone out there who regretted their decision to divorce? Do any women even identify? I need some advice!
I’ve had two comments question my sincerity and that’s completely cool. My wife will be the first to tell you the person I’ve been and she’d agree with what I’ve said – she’s told me several times. That’s what get’s me so confused and makes me really rationalize this as best I can and really search out answers from those who have gone before me. I agree with one response that’s there’s more to the story, I know my wife – I just can’t put the peices together. If I’ve done all I think I can do and it’s just not doing for her, then it’s not in the cards. Just looking for a little insight, that’s all.

My dad is leaving in just over 2 weeks for a trial separation. But I don’t know what’s going on and my parents are keeping me in the dark. I know some stuff they don’t think I know as well. I know that my dad had an affair in 2003, but they have no clue I know. I think that’s what also happened this time but they won’t say just for me to find out about 2003 was extremely difficult and took a lot of snooping but now I just can’t figure out if my dad had an affair again, but I also don’t know what I’d think even if he did I mean he’s still my dad. He’s never really been violent or anything he’s been a good dad I mean he yells and I’m pretty sure he suffers from depression but I’m not sure. Regardless I like my family just the way it is but I think that my parents might be using the trial separation as a disguise to not hurt my feelings and they may have already decided to have a divorce I just don’t know.

What should I do? I mean I know I can’t stop the separation and I think it’s good that they are, but I also know that if they get a divorce they’re planning on my mom getting full custody and even if my dad was cheating I still love him.

Is there anything I can do to help? I want to have them stay together but I’m not selfish and if they don’t want to then ok get a divorce it’s just I want to help.

How should I handle the stress? I already suffer from some depression and this is not helping.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years, and for the past 2 he’s been having family problems and they’re taking a tole on our relationship. He’s stopped respecting me and my opinion isn’t important to him. We’re growing apart and theres nothing I can do to stop it. He knows he’s being a jerk and he apologizes all the time. I want to be there for him but I feel like I cant handle being his personal punching bag when hes having a bad day. Should I leave him or just try a trial separation? Im so confused. HELP!
Thanks for your concern, but i only meant punching bag as a figure of speech. He takes his emotions and bad moods out on me.
Thank you guys so much for your help, but now i have one more problem, Ive talked about leaving before, and he always brings up committing suicide if i leave because it will just be one more horrible thing happening to him again. I know that its not my problem but i cant help but feel like it will be my responsibility and on my conscience if he does. What can I do?

Asked a question earlier on sim. topic. My husband is Korean who came to the U.S for me 5 months ago. He’s having adjust problems big time. 4 days ago he got mad at me because I was late meeting him somewhere. Since then he has not spoken to me. He resorted to throwing out all our condoms, blocking bedroom door, so I can’t get in, and now he’s getting drunk. I can’t take his crap. I step on eggshells and talk to him calmly but he just glares at me and won’t speak.
Now I know what it feels like to have culture shock. I lived in Korea for 3 year and had bad days to. But I never treated my husband the way he’s treating me. If he keeps it up any longer, I want him to go back. I try everything to make his stay here good. Enroll him in English and gym classes. He doesn’t work; I’m sole provider (even in Korea, he didn’t work. I did). Should I send him back and do a trial separation? He told me he wants to go back. We’ve been married just a year and have no kids. Get out now?
Also we haven’t even slept in the same bed for 4 days. I also don’t want to go back to Korea. I think its only fair he gives the U.S a chance, since I stood in Korea so long for him. I am starting to realize I screwed up getting married

my boyfriend and i been together for a year and the sex isnt the same… He keeps coming early, without giving me a chance for an orgasm. He is also younger with more experience. I ve only been with 3 ppl and i really dont know when i have an orgasm. I really dont know what an orgasm feels like. It is now causing a rift between us. And i dont know what to do im very worried i love him but sex just isnt satisfying. We have decided on a trial separation,( i suggested it). He wants to do whoever but i have to have limits. Unfair but ill give it a trial..What can i do???HELP ASAP

We began having kids 2 years later. Now, 15 years and 3 kids later she says that she doesn’t know who she really is. She thinks something was missing from the start, and if not for the kids, she would have left me years ago. She believes that she has everything a girl could want, but that isn’t enough. What if her "soul mate" is out there? How will she really know if I am the one if she doesn’t even really know who she is herself. She wants a trial separation with no outside dating. She wants us to date and attend all functions together (a united front). She has never been alone her entire life. She thinks that maybe this separation will be just the kick to get her thinking more clearly.
What do you think?

My wife had an emotional affair this summer with a married guy. She said she ended it because she was afraid it was getting out of hand…she may have been falling for the guy. Married 16 years with 3 kids, she was afraid of losing everything. She said the problem was our relationship (no doubt it wasn’t great the last few years)…not the guy.
Six weeks and lots of counseling later, she still thinks about this guy….and she wants a trial separation.
I’m OK with the separation, I’m even OK if she wants to pursue the other guy (even though he’s supposedly trying to salvage his own marriage).
We both want to work things out, & the counseling seems to help, but I can’t help wondering…Is this guy the main obstacle?
If so, will she be able to get over him and find the love she once had for me?

My best friend is having marital problems and she is getting ready to do a trial separation from her husband for one week. She is wanting to leave this weekend. My husband is leaving town this weekend and he will be gone for a whole week. I haven’t offered for her to come stay with me and I have been hoping that she won’t ask. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and I have never been on my own and I was looking forward to seeing what being independent would be like. Am I just awful?
Thanks for all the sweet comments )
I don’t feel so bad now!