When the husband works to provide an income and the woman does not work or only works part time, then the woman gets custody, because the husband does not have time to look after the children.

If the woman works, while the father is a stay at home dad, then the woman gets the children, because the father has no income to support them. Why is that?

I am a stay-at-home mom and am divorcing my alcoholic husband. At present, the alimony & child support I will receive won’t be enough to continue caring for my son full-time. I’ll have to put him in daycare 9 hours a day to make ends meet (I DON’T want to do that!).
Here is the question…My husband is being considered for a new job where he will make ,000 more per year! If I wait to file for divorce until he starts this new job, will I receive more in child support and alimony? I wonder mainly because we’ve been separated for 4 months and I don’t know if the courts will look at his income at the time of separation or at the time the divorce is filed.
I know some nasty person is going to call me money grubbing, but this is ALL about avoiding putting my young son in daycare all day long when he’s used to being at home with me. I’ll be working full-time as soon as he’s in regular school.
Thanks!

Or can anybody recommend good places to go or see. My husband and I are trying to keep the divorce, custory, and support process as cheap as possible. He has a lot of his own criminal expenses he is going through and currently being the stay at home mom I am I have no money to pay the 3000-10000 dollars it is going to cost to obtain a lawyer in my state/county.

my husband and i would like to divorce but we are not at one anothers throats. neither of us wants to spend a dime more of what we could use for our children on our divorce. i’ve seen a lot of options for getting the paperwork and filing done but i am lost as to how to figure out support and division of debts fairly. i have been a stay at home mom for 11 years so our income difference is large but we have a very high debt to income ratio and if he pays me a lot of support, i know he will lose the house. i desperately don’t want that to happen because i want the children to be able to stay here. i have absolutely no desire to screw him – it makes no sense to make us both struggle when we should be pulling together for the kids college. we have no savings, no equity and high debt – i know it is technichally stupid not to ask for alimony but it will only screw us all in my opinion – is there a way to figure out if that is true or just a fear?
he has a very modest income – this is a very modest house – a downgrade would probably mean an apartment and i love this house as much as they do and it would hurt me to see it all lost. if we are all in the poor house on top of our emotional loss . . . i have a college degree but no work experience and i can’t get a very high paying job so i am very worried but we need someone or some resource to help us figure out how to do this so that we don’t screw up all our futures financially and even more emotionally than the divorce already will. any suggestions?
mediation seems expensive – are there resourses other than people? is mediation expensive? i know it is cheap compared to trial – but i mean we honestly will be putting this divorce on a credit card – we do not want to spend more money – we just want to make sure we have done it right. thank you

I am married to a responsible, intelligent, hot tempered, unloving husband. We only have great sex whenever we had a fight and I asking for a separation. He’s always the one who would start a fight. I feel that I don’t love him anymore. I really want and I feel so excited to live alone and be single again. Possibly to find someone who can make me feel excited and loved again. But we are currently, homeschooling our sons and I love them so much. I believe I should be a good mom and stay on our marriage. But the truth is that I am so bored, so hurt, so lack of life that I dream of being single again. I’m 40 years old and a stay at home mom.. Please help me..

My husband and I have a very strained and stressful relationship. He works long hours at a very physically demanding job, and I am a stay at home mom of two children ages 4 and 1. I do attend college and have finished my prerequisites for my degree program, there is a waiting list that I am on to start the actual program. We will be married for 3 years this year and we are having serious issues. We agreed upon our lifestyle but he doesn’t respect me because I dont have an income although he doesn’t want me to work. He holds it over my head and controls many aspects of our relationship. We haven’t been intimate in a while now and he claims he is too tired (from his work). However in his spare time he golfs 7 hours in a day, wakeboards and bow hunts. I am allowed to have one night a week to myself for a break. After 9pm when I get the kids in bed there isn’t much to do, so a girlfriend and I usually do Kareoke at a dive bar nearby. I dont get drunk because I am driving, and he gets upset that I choose to spend my time there. It’s fine for me to spend a few hours there and not a lot of money, but he gets to leave for another day out of the week to spend 50 bucks playing golf and spending lots of time away from home. What do I do? I am doing everything I can to be accomodating and understanding about his work, and his time, but I’m not getting this in return. Yes, he is a selfish person and he will admit that, but how do I deal with this? Will a separation make him realize what he has?

My husband and I had our first child 5 months ago. I am a stay at home mom so never go anywhere besides doctor appointments or grocery shopping. (I don’t have my own car) We have not had a single ‘date’ since the baby, have not gone anywhere without him for more than an hour, nothing. It’s not that I don’t cherish every moment with my child, I just am SO sick and tired of every single night eating dinner and then watching tv and playing with the baby until bed. I’m so bored with it that I have started going to bed at 8-9pm when my son goes to sleep. I’m not from around here, so no friends nearby. The highlight of my week is going to his parents one day on the weekend. I just feel so empty and alone. I’ve tried to tell my husband but he doesn’t take it serious. What can I do?

I am at a loss, really i don’t know where to start, My husband and i have been together for 10 years, married for 3. we have 4 kids together, i am 27 and he is 38. My first thought before kids was this is never going to work because of the age difference, at first it was just fun and spontaneous and it really didn’t mean anything to me, but..he was the cool older guy upstairs with the motorcycle and i was the hard to get, cute, flirtatious teenage girl next door.. Well somehow things went from "Spontaneous" to "Serious". I was stupid and naive and didn’t care about birth control it was one of those situations you see on TV where the little girls want to have babies just to have someone to love them. that was me. well my wish came true and i got pregnant with my first daughter at 19. had her right after i turned 20.. at that point we were living together and things seemed OK, He worked hard to provide for us and i was a stay at home mom. we decided to move out of state because where we were living it was really hard to afford and we wanted the best for our family. So we moved 2000 miles away from the home I’ve know my entire life. shortly after the move i became pregnant with my 2nd child and then when she was 7 months i became pregnant with my third, both of which were not planned and were actually BC babies..
here we are 6 years and one more baby later (if you lost count that’s 4) and i feel completely lost..
I am so different from that girl i once was, I’ve changed for the better i think, yet he is exactly the same and doesn’t seem like he has grown at all, it’s sad really..he’s bitter most the time and hates his job and makes sure i know that everyday..yet he wont do anything to try and change it.
he uses addictions to keep him happy which i think is really sad.
with out them he turns bitter and mean.
I do everything i can to make sure my kids are happy and i want the world for them,
i feel he is in the way of that.
i don’t know what to do..
I LOVE him so much but i think that i simply LOVE him but I’m not IN LOVE with him anymore and honestly I’m not sure if i ever was. the only thing that makes me think i was is that i feel i would be miserable without him, and I’m not sure if that would be me missing my best friend or me missing my lover..
If only he would change and become the father i want for my children and the one that they need.
I am not even a little bit physically attracted to him anymore not sure i ever was..and the thought of sex with him makes me want to puke. I know this is making me sound like a horrible person but i need help i don’t just want to give up on 10 years. i want to make it better anyway i can. but then again I’ve tried so many times before and it has never worked more than a couple months at the most and that is with me making all the changes..
I need suggestions on helping him become the person he needs to be in order to be an asset to this family.
Please if anyone can help me it would be great.
Thank You for reading my book LOL

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 10 years. I have no income. He has a steady income and access to all of the funds. He has told me he’s filing divorce, and he’s not letting me speak to my kids. What rights do I have? I can’t just go and hire an attorney here, I’m stranded. No money. I can’t even rent a car. I have a place to stay, but I’m not sure how long this will work out. I’m cleaning and cooking just to keep peace, but I’m not paying any bills or buying any food. I’ve tried the US Embassy website, but thats a joke! If you’ve seen the Bourne movies with Matt Damon, it is nothing like that. The closest Embassy is 2.5 hours from me. The bus/train fair is each way and you have to have an appointment to get to speak to anyone. If you try to make an appointment online, they only give u an option for lost/stolen passports…etc. Nothing for emergency situations. If you try calling them, it’s an automated response getting you no where. I’m not a bum, I’m a hard working and loving mom. I have been screwed by a very smart divorce attorney who just so happens to be my husband. He’s tried to control everything I do for the better part of the marriage. Always reminding me how important he is, and how not so important I am. I work very hard to keep a clean and happy home with happy kids. It is not an easy job. We have 4 kids under the age of 7. We both agreed taking this trip would be good for me and for the family. The stress was so high when I left I couldn’t think straight. But his plan all along was to leave me stranded, turn my family against me, and put the kids in therapy to help deal with their mother leaving.

There has to be something I can do.

Please help if you can.
Number one reason for making the subject attorney help…not smart elic busy bodys help. But to clarify things, the question was posted so I can find out what my rights are. Not so I can get pity from people as to why I’m leaving the man.

I am currently married and living in upstate NY with my 3 children. My husband and I have agreed to divorce but cannot settle custody questions. He says he will fight for physical custody, which I am certain he won’t get (I’m their primary– virtually exclusive– caregiver) but which will probably cost me a fortune to battle over. I would also like to move home to Ohio, about 4 hours from our current residence, because I have no family in NY and have much better job prospects and access to free child care back home. I’m completely willing to abide by any reasonable visitation schedule my husband requests, but he says I cannot move out of state without his consent. Is this true? I’m a stay at home mom; he loves the kids but has never bathed them, taken them to the doctors, made them breakfast, etc. I (we) be living in poverty if I’m forced to stay here. Will family court provide me with a lawyer– he’s cut off my access to the bank account and I don’t know how I’d hire an attorney. Thanks for any help I can get.