For over a week my wife has been acting distant and disinterested in me.

She blames: work pressure, pressure about leaving China and coming to Australia to settle, leaving the company with a really good impression in case she has to return to China (yeah I hate how these people like to leave options open too), pressure about the failing health of her family, boredom with me.

I’m crushed. She just won’t let something go that happened to us a while ago (before marriage). Where I became good friends with a girl and packed up my things and left for 24 hours (because I was so upset with something that happened). I came back the next day and it did hurt us both. I never did anything with this girl but my wife was so upset at the time about me lining up another girl and trying to move on. I did that out of anger because she was getting more and more abusive to me and ran out until 2am to KTV with a bunch of blokes.

Anyway, we got on with it and I came back. We tried to work through it and get over it. BUT she hasn’t been the same since. She told me she still loves me so much and has shown that through small affectionate signs but the sex and bedroom intimacy has completely gone. The past 4 nights have gone something like this: I’ll try to kiss her and initiate, she’ll just roll over and ignore me or lie there like a doll. I’ll then give up in tears and leave the room and break down.

The night before last, she apologized for not being able to give me sex. Said I’m still young and she understands. I’m not trying to put demands on her… Last night she saw that I was horny and was playfully me touching me and then when I wanted more, she rolled over said she was tired and went to sleep. She has changed into something like a manipulative woman that’s just playing around and no longer serious to me. Now I feel like I am banging my head on a wall. We just got married and now she is doing this and treating us like a joke. No wonder I want to weigh up options and think about getting out.

I’m at wits end. She says she loves me so much and to not get upset and things will be fine – she’s just worried about her work and has big pressure.

She hates it that I have a mate who is a player. I don’t go out with this guy but rarely invite him around for drinks at my house. I’ve told him I’m married and not into playing around but since the incident with that girl, my wife has become so distrusting that when I made a comment about her going overseas for her work and having 2 weekends without her, she shot back ‘so you can go and f**** other girls then’. After that I said to myself that this girl doesn’t just have problems with what happened, but I seriously doubt she loves me.

So, I’m weighing options. We only have 3 months to go before we go back to Australia together.

1. Stay here and keep working and earning money until it’s time to go. I’ll see her on and off and be her support. Be there in case she is in the mood to be intimate. Her support but also in some ways her toy.

2. Go back to Australia before her. Problem here is that I won’t be earning any money during the time before out planned wedding in December. It will take some time to find a job. <– this option might be a good idea as a trial separation. Yep, I’m thinking along the lines of a separation of longer than what her work normally affords. I’d still be committed to her, just I’d be getting established in Australia and have access to counseling if I decide to and time to think with the support of my family.

3. Continue to stay here. I’ve talked at length with a close family member about these things and they reminded me that I can try to stick it out in China for a couple more months (even if that means us not being intimate or doing anything together – just kind of exist together without the full range of intimacy is no different to just being in another country I guess). Come back together and then see how things go without her work pressure. She might change completely. Certainly I’d have all of her attention – she won’t know anybody or anything and will have to rely upon me.

I never went with another girl. I did message that girl and consider going out with her but never did that because I needed time to process my feelings – esp. if I was going to make a permanent break. After all, we had been together for 2 years and I realized I couldn’t just throw that away. That tells you how far as I was pushed to make the decision to move out (she had messaged me earlier after leaving in anger and told me she was moving all her stuff out and leaving). Her text to me set me off and I packaged things out of anger.

She sometimes brings up the incident about the girl. Today she saw me getting so upset with her comments that she backed down and said not to worry and think so much and that the business with the girl was a small problem. That mo
I’m 28 and she’s 25. I began to wonder if it was a lack of attraction to me. Bored with me?? That’s bs. But then she turns around and talks about saving for a house and a good future. She was on the webcam laughing and talking away with her cousin’s bf last night but when it came to bed time, she hugged me, kissed my eyes (a sign of affection), started fooling around and then rolled over and went to sleep. All signs of a lack of interest in me. I am teetering on the edge of leaving.

Just wondering if anyone can help steer me in the right direction.

My mum has depression/anxiety. Like really big problems. Psychiatric hospitals/overdoses/police being called all of these are a regular occurence. I am 38 and have 2 children (6 & 7). She has been sick for a long time. She divorced my dad, and whilst my dad and siblings are supportive, as her daughter I wear the brunt of it. This weekend she has told me she cant cope with being a mother anymore and is ‘retiring’. Those words felt like a sledgehammer, but i kept it together to get thru my husbands birthday, kids sleep overs. Its Sunday night and i guess I am just feeling it now.

Are there support groups out there for me? I am having trouble ‘processing’ it all. Coping with it. I mean my day to day life will proceed, i have the kids and work etc etc, but there is a hole in my heart, a sadness that is unending. I wish I had someone who understood.

The break up I’m going through is literally deteriorating me. I can’t sleep, I’m throwing up, my anxiety is out the roof…I’ve done everything advised in any self help book & nothing seems to help. Please, any advice? I really need some GOOD words of wisdom to help me through this.
…And we’re not even breaking up over bad reasons. We are taking "space" because he’s moving away for a few years…But I’m still falling apart?

My husband and i been married for 3 years the last 2 years of my marriage life is hell on earth …
he’s not willing to compromise for anything .

our problems and fights mainly consists on life basics needs he never gives me any money to buy clothes for the kids emotionally abusive and very controlling .

i had put up with him only for the sake of our 2 kids .

ive tried everything with him talking nothing seems to work
we live in one bedroom apartment (me /him and my 2 kids sleep in the same room )he has been promising to move to a bigger apartment for the last year now

i have endured his imaginary promises but i can not take the emotional abuse anymore
he owns a real estate company and he can still find a decent apartment for the same price yet he does nothing
i’m not allowed to work or do anything i live in different country
every time we have a fight he tells me to pack my bag and get the FCUK out of the house still i hang around for the sake of my kids

nevertheless i can live much better with my parents back home

the last incident when we had a fight and he threat me with divorce and call my parents he told them that he will send me back home

after all of his manipulative emotional abuse than he acts like nothing happened
the last 2 days he raised his hand trying to knock me out in my face he didn’t touch me but he wanted to i guess the only reason because he knows that i can call the police

this is the first time i told him i’m done with his emotional abuse he doesn’t respect me at all adding stingy bot good in bed and the list goes on

i can not continue with him or even for the kids i will take the kids now and leave
he tells me that im a bad woman because i didn’t standby his side when he is in crisis not like he gave a sincere apology

he never apologized for anything he buys him self a 1000 dollars shoes and drives a 2010 car i know he is not in crisis as he pretends however he wants his 6 month old baby to wear the same clothes since newborn it’s killing me to see my babies living less than they deserve

finally i came with a solution with him that i cant take it anymore and i’m leaving just like he says to pack my shit and fuck off

because ei know deep inside that nothing well going to change i can live with a poor person if he is good to me but there is nothing positive about him
social life zero love life zero
i need advice if i’m taking the good decision or should i wait more and give him a chance after 100 chance or am i just wasting my time
and just today he told me that he will not move to a bigger apartment just because he doesn’t want to .

i strongly believe that marriage is for good and for worse
im just want to give him a lesson that he i will not allow him to terat me in this manner he says if i leave he will not have us bacj anymore still i want to leave nothing will change
any expeience or advice would be helpfull thank you in advance

Hi, I am hoping to get some insight from you all. I married and lived with my husband for a year, i loved him and cared about him, but through time I realize I was not ever "in love" with him, and knowing that i was still willing to compromise and be with him b/c I thought you could learn to love and be in love with someone over time. I am aware that I "settled" and i thought that he was better than most guys out there and I trusted him. I tried and tried to make it work and it’s a one way effort. We seem to not bring the best out of each other. B4 me, his parents told me he was hard working, diligent, all around nice guy. For some reason, I do not bring that out in him and in response, he brings out the part of me that I have not thought i was capable of, like screaming, cry in my sleep with sleepless nights, trying tactics to get what I want him to do for me, all not nice traits. In the beginning, he has been sweet when he wants to be, accommodating, soft-spoken, good looking, shy and quiet at times, youngest of the family, he is the beta type of male. He has a big issue though which is he loves to play computer games, day and night, and through this he neglects me, chores, doesn’t spend any time with me and plants his butt on the chair all day long. He got laid off and i encouraged him to get a new job which he believes the unemployment benefits pay more and is trying to milk it till it runs dry. It’s difficult for me to understand how someone could want to aim so low in life, and be glorified. He has a lazy tendency and doesn’t do anything till you push him. I have had many sleepless nights b/c he would stay up till 6am in the morning playing computer games and tapping the keyboard. My mom has asked him to help out at her business, however, he would play 48 hours non-stop to make up for the time he worked. I cared about him and i always made sure he had breakfast, lunch, and dinner even if I was not home. However, he is not that caring about my well being. He knows how to say sweet things when the going gets tough and that’s all there is to it, no actions, just words. He knows he has a problem and is addicted yet he doesn’t care. Is my role as a wife to be caretaker for life? I realized that his neglect was pushing me away and I couldn’t take it anymore. He is emotionally challenged and is not capable of loving deep or have deep thoughts. I now realize i did not marry him for the right reasons b/c of self-esteem issue, family and peer pressure, etc. I believe in philiopiety and most of my friends do too, something that my husband takes for granted b/c his parents do everything for him.

His parents pleaded me to stay with him and in this time admit that they spoiled him and never gave him any chores or responsibility. Sometimes i feel that if i stay with him, it may be due to sympathy and I am not sure i will be happy since he is not capable of loving the way I want a guy to love me, and b/c of this reason, I am not able to be in love with him. They also told me he had a gaming addiction since High School which was not made known to me while we were dating for 2 years. for this reason, i feel it was deceitful. I sometimes feel he needs his family back and he should move back home, just to get back on track with his life. Even if I’m not able to be with him as a wife, I still care about him as an individual and want the best for him. I somehow feel that him living with me, he is not being the best he could be and I’m holding him back from his potential. I think i also got attached to his mom and dad, and it was as though i dated them and not him, and did not dig more into him. The thing is he doesn’t like to share anything till it’s too late, I shared with him all the tribulations i have been through b4 we wedded b/c I wanted him know everything about me and not have any surprises.

I have helped him get numerous counseling sessions. He is not willing to get help. He tells me it is pure enjoyment and fun, and is not a form of escape of reality. If it was, I would definitely fight through it with him. However, he has told this is going to be lifestyle.

What is most difficult is that we had a perfect wedding, invited all guests nationally and internationally, perfect pictures, etc. It’s not easy to toss those away. I now learn I was not ready to get married. I also do not want to devastate my family as you know Asian culture places high emphasis on what others think about them.

I will not be making any drastic decisions at the moment such as divorce, however, I want to know the community’s opinion and maybe it will give me some eye opening insight as what I should do. Thank you for reading this.

She doesn’t remember nething from that night (after she signed, i put her on carpet to sleep and called her the next morning to make sure that she was okay). Her signature looks just like her signatures from when she is sober. Shud I tell her about it now or only when she threatens separation or divorce? I didn’t get her drunk, she was already drunk when i arrived there with my lawyer.

basically, it says that: everything that is hers will remain hers and that everything that is mine will remain mine. Each partner gets to keep what they earn. "He/She who shall not work neither shall he/she eat." also she is not working but she has no problem emptying my fridge. i feel like that i shud be honest. i love her but how can I get her to work and help her feed herself. also can i use the prenup as a bargaining chip to allow other women visitors to visit? these are not gfs (just friends): playing, talking, just chilling out, and so on.

This question is for adult human females only.
This question is for adult human females only. Please state your age.

Okay so I dated a guy for awhile and we got really close, spent almost everyday together, him spending the night almost everynight. Well we fell in love fast and hard and I was the only girl he ever brought home, the only one he told his family he was going to marry. He had told me he wanted to be with me forever. Last week we got in a fight that was stupid and he left and came right back to work it out.

He said he wanted to marry me and be with me forever. A couple days before our break up I was talking to him on the phone and he said he missed me, The day before our breakup, I was talking to him because of his new job I don’t see him as much and we were talking and I asked him if he wanted it to be over, he said no. The day when he told me, I asked if he loved me and he said nothing. I asked him again and he just put his head down and shook his head no. But he never said it. He held me when I cried. Told me he just has stuff to figure out and when he is back on his feet and if he is missing me he will find me.

That night he called and I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and he said yes. Then I asked him if he loved me and he said don’t ask me that, I said do you and he said I do. But didn’t say I love you. His sister is really close to me and we have still been hanging out and she told me some stuff and I texted him really pissed and he got mad at his sister for telling me that stuff, but not mad at me. Now see everyone who knows us thought we were perfect for each other and thought we would get married. Now do you think it is over for good, and he was saying he still wants to be with me just to not hurt me anymore or do you think he still loves me? He told me the other night he hasn’t ate in 3 days and can’t sleep and just walks his hallways. When we broke up he never gave me a reason other than he wanted to get back on his feet b/c of the money issue where he lost his truck, then when everything was going good, he would call. I love him so much and I just don’t no though. I don’t no if we are done and he is just saying that not to hurt my feelings or if he still really loves me and needs space. What do you think? advice wanted too

Okay so I dated a guy for awhile and we got really close, spent almost everyday together, him spending the night almost everynight. Well we fell in love fast and hard and I was the only girl he ever brought home, the only one he told his family he was going to marry. He had told me he wanted to be with me forever. Last week we got in a fight that was stupid and he left and came right back to work it out.

He said he wanted to marry me and be with me forever. A couple days before our break up I was talking to him on the phone and he said he missed me, The day before our breakup, I was talking to him because of his new job I don’t see him as much and we were talking and I asked him if he wanted it to be over, he said no. The day when he told me, I asked if he loved me and he said nothing. I asked him again and he just put his head down and shook his head no. But he never said it. He held me when I cried. Told me he just has stuff to figure out and when he is back on his feet and if he is missing me he will find me.

That night he called and I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and he said yes. Then I asked him if he loved me and he said don’t ask me that, I said do you and he said I do. But didn’t say I love you. His sister is really close to me and we have still been hanging out and she told me some stuff and I texted him really pissed and he got mad at his sister for telling me that stuff, but not mad at me. Now see everyone who knows us thought we were perfect for each other and thought we would get married. Now do you think it is over for good, and he was saying he still wants to be with me just to not hurt me anymore or do you think he still loves me? He told me the other night he hasn’t ate in 3 days and can’t sleep and just walks his hallways. When we broke up he never gave me a reason other than he wanted to get back on his feet b/c of the money issue where he lost his truck, then when everything was going good, he would call. I love him so much and I just don’t no though. I don’t no if we are done and he is just saying that not to hurt my feelings or if he still really loves me and needs space. What do you think? advice wanted too

Okay so I dated a guy for awhile and we got really close, spent almost everyday together, him spending the night almost everynight. Well we fell in love fast and hard and I was the only girl he ever brought home, the only one he told his family he was going to marry. He had told me he wanted to be with me forever. Last week we got in a fight that was stupid and he left and came right back to work it out.

He said he wanted to marry me and be with me forever. A couple days before our break up I was talking to him on the phone and he said he missed me, The day before our breakup, I was talking to him because of his new job I don’t see him as much and we were talking and I asked him if he wanted it to be over, he said no. The day when he told me, I asked if he loved me and he said nothing. I asked him again and he just put his head down and shook his head no. But he never said it. He held me when I cried. Told me he just has stuff to figure out and when he is back on his feet and if he is missing me he will find me.

That night he called and I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and he said yes. Then I asked him if he loved me and he said don’t ask me that, I said do you and he said I do. But didn’t say I love you. His sister is really close to me and we have still been hanging out and she told me some stuff and I texted him really pissed and he got mad at his sister for telling me that stuff, but not mad at me. Now see everyone who knows us thought we were perfect for each other and thought we would get married. Now do you think it is over for good, and he was saying he still wants to be with me just to not hurt me anymore or do you think he still loves me? He told me the other night he hasn’t ate in 3 days and can’t sleep and just walks his hallways. When we broke up he never gave me a reason other than he wanted to get back on his feet b/c of the money issue where he lost his truck, then when everything was going good, he would call. I love him so much and I just don’t no though. I don’t no if we are done and he is just saying that not to hurt my feelings or if he still really loves me and needs space. Everyone who knows me and him say we will get back together. They all thought we were perfect together. Even the guys that are friends with him said we would get back together. So I don’t know. What do you think? advice wanted too

I know of a few married couples who have it. They have their main bedroom where they sleep together but also have their own "personal room" in addition.

They say it’s for when they "want to be alone", listen to music / watch tv without disturbing the other, and having their own space.

Do you think this is a great idea?