Help, I need some advice on what to do I feel so alone and trapped. I am 27, I have been married to the same guy for almost six yrs. We have three kids with one more on the way. My oldest is three yrs old, then I have one yr old twins. My husband is just very turned off to everything, he don’t care much about his family here, he only cares about his mom and dad and work. All he ever does is work, all day and all night. Even though it’s at home on his computer, it don’t feel like he is here. Yes, he is a BIG time mommy’s boy. He tries so hard to do everything for them, but would never do anything for me. All we do is argue and no romance is at all there anymore. I feel trapped with him, what should I do? When I try to talk to him he immediately puts on the blame shift to cause a huge fight. To top it off I am a high risk pregnancy and am supposed to stay calm, but how can I living with him and this way. Tonight for instance, he left me with our three kids to work on his parents house remodeling, he was gone since 8am yesterday and did not return till 6am this morning. By the way, my three kids are all sick right now on antibodics. So they cry all night long, and I am exhausted from being pregnant. This isn’t the only night he has pulled this on me now for two weeks. Before the remodel garbage he wasn’t there for us, even when he was here. I am lost, I feel like if I leave him where would I go, what would I do? Do I have to stick in it on a loveless, zero respect marriage just for my kids sake? Help, I need advice….. Also, my husband refuses to go to counceling.
I guess I forgot to mention I am six months pregnant, I had birth control and was told by many drs I can’t get pregnant without ivf. Which is why I have twins, my son from surgeries. But this pregnancy I tried to prevent even though many chances were only 2% according to many drs. I just wanted to add that. My husband used to be there for me before my son, then after when we tried for my twins. But after getting pregnant with my twins he was gone. I do not feel he is cheating on me, even though he flirts like a little school girl when our friends sister comes over. Also he never has hit me or anything, it’s all emotionally he hurts me.

Spousal abuse is going on between them. The sooner they get divorced and away from one another the better for their sakes and for the sake of the kids. The only catch will be custody of the children. What is the cheapest and easiest state to get a quick divorce in?
Thanks!

In 2004, my husband filed for divorce due to the fact that I found someone else. We had been fighting for 23 yrs. I had gone to counseling and he didn’t…..nothing worked. Then in 2005, 4 wks. later, I filed for divorce. It was consolidated. The final paper was never filed by my lawyer because she lost it. THEN my spouse was transferred to another state. We tried to reconcile for my l3 yr. olds sake. In six months, I realized it wouldn’t work and I went back to my boyfriend. We have been together a year now. My spouse said that he will not pay for anymore legal action. I contacted a lawyer in the new state and he wants another 2000 dollars and more. I have already paid that much and more the first go round. It is now 2008, we haven’t lived together as a couple but six months out of 4 yrs. What can I do to get a fast and cheap divorce? When we sold our house , he took all the equity. He has all the contents of the house. Everything. Help!

Boy have I got a mess on my hands. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 5 1/2. We have a 2 year-old child. We decided to open up our marriage to a 3rd person about 8 months ago. From the begining I was feeling left out. Well now my husband doesn’t want our marriage, has moved in w/ this person and has turned into a completely different person. He wants EVERYTHING his way. He told me 5 weeks ago out of the blue he was out of love with me. 2 weeks later I had to ask him to leave our home because of he continued to cheat with our "friend" and was being completely disrespectful and insensitive to me as well. I wasn’t perfect in our marriage but I never cheated and was doing anything necessary to try to fix our marriage before bailing on it. Things are starting to get uglier and uglier. We are going to a Marriage Counselor to get along w/ each other for our daughters sake. We have decided on a mediator, because we want to be fair but I need some info on IL law.
PLEASE…Obviously I realize it was a stupid decision. The QUESTION I am asking is regarding to Illinois Divorce Law. Just looking for advice from someone who has been through a similar situation, a divorce, or knows the law well.

My ex and I have done the temp. orders.
We were both ordered to take a class. for childs sake. Just educating to not takethe divorce out on our daughter.
I was looking at my court records today online
and it said – not in these exact words.
But i has that I took the court class. and then it says.
6-6-07 – Intervention ATTY GEN OF TX

What does that mean? B/c I did get the attorney general b/c of child support. he was not paying. So any suggestions what the intervention thing is?

Thank you

My brother just caught my sister-in-law cheating on him with another woman. They have a three year old daughter, who I adore, for her sake I don’t want to alienate my sister-in-law but am fairly anger at her. Any ideas or resources websites etc that could help.

My parents wanted me to divorce my ex-husband because he was controlling, abusive and money-minded. They observed these issues and this came from information that I gave them.

I see other parents encouraging their children to stay together for the sake of their children.

Which is the right way to go?

Last night I was watching intervention on TV. The husband and wife split on and get on with their new lives. One of their daughters is completely heartbroken and both parents miss this. Fast forward a few years and she is on meth and stripping to make a living. Here is a link to the show:

http://www.tv.com/intervention/show/34392/summary.html

I think there are some situations where divorce is a legitamate final decision but I also think this is done sometimes for selfish reasons and not necessary.

Work hard on your marraige and please your mate in all ways. Put your spouse above all else and if you don’t know what they want ask. If you can not be fulfilled together at least agree to have a peacefull house for your children and when they are out of the house then seperate. If there is abuse, adultry or addiction then yes divorce may be what you must do. If not try to make it work and put your wants aside for a few years for the sake of your children.

What do you think?

Me & my husband have been togather 4 years and married three. We have a 13 month old. Me and my husband have faught alot in the past & he has put his hands on me. I have been feeling weird these last couple of months towards him. I don’t have the desire for sex nor’ do i enjoy it anymore. & i don’t feel anything special anymore when we cuddle or spend time togather. I dont want to be with anyone else or if i were to become single i wouldnt wanna date for a while. I just don’t think i am happy anymore. sometimes i dread for him to come home from work. He is constantly putting me down since i am a stay at home mom. He doe’nt want me to get a job or anything. a stay at home mom is what he wants me to be. He is a sub contractor for a construction company that builds buildings. And he’s always telling i would get fired if i had a job and espeacialy if i had to do his job. He comes home telling me what to do and demanding that it gets done right then and there. But the confusing part about all of this is that for some reason i dont wanna leave him.And i know thats what i should do. But i am just not sure what it it is yet that holds me back. I dont know if i still love him or not because i dont have any romantic feelings for him anymore. I only know one reason why i am still trying to act like everything is okay between us and that would be my 13 month old daughter. Please help me out and give me advice and tell me what you think might be going on with me in this relationship and is there anything i can do to try to fix this. & what should i do for my daughters sake. thanks so much!

Our relationship has been pretty bad for awhile. Pornography, yelling, lies, irresponsible financial decisions, etc. Then last march i got pregnant. My pregnancy was pretty awful. I constantly found him looking at pornography and signing up for dating sites. I even thought about an abortion because I doubted things would get better or that I would want to stay with him forever. I did go through with my pregnancy ( I couldn’t make myself kill my baby, not even to get away). He promised to quit (which he’s done many times- even though I tell him I’ll leave if he does it again.) Things were ok for a few weeks. Then I found out that he’d been looking at porn again 2 weeks after having my baby. He tried to deny it but the computer doesn’t lie. Again he promised to change and again the above list continues. I found that he had forwarded porn from his phone to his e-mail on Jan. 20th and decided to leave. I’ve asked for counseling mant timesand he always promises but then it never happens.
Well this time I came back and he did set it up but he wont follow the counselors suggestions and we are still constantly fighting. We’v eonly had a few sessions but I feel like it doesn’t matter how many we have if he isn’t willing to change. He insists I’m always just looking for a reason to go and I say he just keeps giving me reasons. Should I give it more time or should i count my losses and start packing? I will still have to deal with him for the sake of out 3 month old daughter.