I want to hear from mens perspective and womens.

I want to hear from the person who originally thought it up
- how did you draw it up, how did you originally bring it up?
- what are the key points you chose to include?
- would you do it any differently?
- why did you do it? (insecurity in relationship, didn’t want to lose your life’s work or sacrifices you had made to accumulate a house, business etc)

And from the person who had it brought to them:
- what did you think when your partner showed it to you?
- had it already been discussed or was it a surprise?
- was it easy to swallow or did it make you bitter they would ask you to sign it?
- was there anything specifically included that you really didn’t like or was an issue?
- did it change the relationship or your view of your lover
- how did you go about interpretting it
- did they read it to you and explain it or just give it to you and tell you to read it on your own?
- did you bring it to a lawyer to have it reviewed?
- did you ask to change anything in it?
- was there a negotiation process to having anything changed and how did it work, was it just you and your hubby talking it over together or did you both draw it up on paper first and hand your terms back & forth until you could agree? were there lawyers involved in negotiations?

Background info:
I have worked hard to get where I am, love my family, but do want to protect myself should things take a turn down an unexpected road. Also, I am having trouble bringing up the idea of a prenup, and would rather not do one if we don’t need to because I don’t want to "doom" our wonderful relationship ( we have been through a lot, she has overcame drinking problems, debt lifestyle, etc and now we live within our means and now enjoy a somewhat simpler life). I want to build our life together and have that take precedence. But also make sure I don’t lose all I’ve worked for should something happen.

***Even More Notes(for those of you who really want to know)***
I love my partner, will always be 100% faithful and do plan on spending the rest of my life with them. I want to get married, but we have had relationship issues (fine now) and am worried that if I don’t get something in writing then I could wind up having to support them. Heaven forbid that were to happen I have no qualms about paying my my fair share to make sure the kids have what they need! But I wouldn’t want to have to support an ex who chose not to work.

I am mainly worried about my real estate (that I do not own at this point but the deed is in my name and we live there now with our children). It’s only one house at this point, that has been bought while we were together in our relationship but 100% by me – I pay the mortgage and don’t ask for any rent (it seems silly even saying that!). For all intensive purposes – we are married and I work/ support the family while they raise the family and do not work. We live in a state where cohabitation is not a common law. How do prenups deal with one partner choosing to stay home and raise the children? Is the law in most states such that partner who stays home supposed to be compensated by the other partner?

Parter does not have great credit (amassed debt before our relationship) and I do not want to be responsible for that though maybe theres no way around that – I have helped them pay this down a little at a time. I do plan on buying more houses as a part time real estate business – owner occupied duplexes and such and then renting them out, but as they are owner occupied would my partner qualify as part owner if we were to get married and then split up even though her name isn’t on the mortgage?

I met this guy about three weeks ago. I know about as much as you can know about someone who you’ve only known for three weeks.

We met at a party and made out. kissed, etc. then I spent the night at his place.

Ever since then we have been on about three dates, coffee, dinner, jazz club.

On our second date I lost my virginity to him. Not only did he say "I love you" during sex but he asked me to be his girlfriend afterward.

This week he said he wanted to see me more than once a week, I waited on his call and it didn’t come till the end of the week in the middle of the night. He said he wanted to hang out the next day. Then he calls the next day and cancels because he is busy with an article and has to meet a friend for drinks (invites me but I am not 21).

Since this doesn’t feel like a real relationship anymore I say "Hey, maybe this isn’t working out."

He gets all quiet and says "What’s a matter?"

I tell him "I haven’t heard from you and when another guy asked if I was seeing anyone I didn’t know what to say to him."

He says "Yeah I’ve been really busy. But I still want to see you. Should we get dinner tonight?"

I say "No, I don’t want to infringe on you, I guess we’ll just talk about it tomorrow."

He says, "OK" in a weird, hurt tone.

We say goodbye and both hang up.

He hasn’t called me since then and on my mothers advice I am NOT EVER supposed to call him because then I am being desperate. But I do like him and I don’t want to fuck it up with all my insecurity. What am I to do about this? Am I being too demanding for a new relationship? or should I just move on?

My significant other and I are both dealing with feelings of insecurity and jealousy over one another, which automatically leads us to the subject of infidelity. Are there any spiritual or new age books that help with this subject? I’m not exactly interested in a religious point-of-view, but more of a self-help or psychological book that unravels the egotism behind these topics.

Has anyone ever been, what was it like? what do they ask etc?

My boyfriend and I will be going to counselling next week to deal with a few issues regarding trust & insecurity. We don’t know what to expect.