For over a week my wife has been acting distant and disinterested in me.

She blames: work pressure, pressure about leaving China and coming to Australia to settle, leaving the company with a really good impression in case she has to return to China (yeah I hate how these people like to leave options open too), pressure about the failing health of her family, boredom with me.

I’m crushed. She just won’t let something go that happened to us a while ago (before marriage). Where I became good friends with a girl and packed up my things and left for 24 hours (because I was so upset with something that happened). I came back the next day and it did hurt us both. I never did anything with this girl but my wife was so upset at the time about me lining up another girl and trying to move on. I did that out of anger because she was getting more and more abusive to me and ran out until 2am to KTV with a bunch of blokes.

Anyway, we got on with it and I came back. We tried to work through it and get over it. BUT she hasn’t been the same since. She told me she still loves me so much and has shown that through small affectionate signs but the sex and bedroom intimacy has completely gone. The past 4 nights have gone something like this: I’ll try to kiss her and initiate, she’ll just roll over and ignore me or lie there like a doll. I’ll then give up in tears and leave the room and break down.

The night before last, she apologized for not being able to give me sex. Said I’m still young and she understands. I’m not trying to put demands on her… Last night she saw that I was horny and was playfully me touching me and then when I wanted more, she rolled over said she was tired and went to sleep. She has changed into something like a manipulative woman that’s just playing around and no longer serious to me. Now I feel like I am banging my head on a wall. We just got married and now she is doing this and treating us like a joke. No wonder I want to weigh up options and think about getting out.

I’m at wits end. She says she loves me so much and to not get upset and things will be fine – she’s just worried about her work and has big pressure.

She hates it that I have a mate who is a player. I don’t go out with this guy but rarely invite him around for drinks at my house. I’ve told him I’m married and not into playing around but since the incident with that girl, my wife has become so distrusting that when I made a comment about her going overseas for her work and having 2 weekends without her, she shot back ‘so you can go and f**** other girls then’. After that I said to myself that this girl doesn’t just have problems with what happened, but I seriously doubt she loves me.

So, I’m weighing options. We only have 3 months to go before we go back to Australia together.

1. Stay here and keep working and earning money until it’s time to go. I’ll see her on and off and be her support. Be there in case she is in the mood to be intimate. Her support but also in some ways her toy.

2. Go back to Australia before her. Problem here is that I won’t be earning any money during the time before out planned wedding in December. It will take some time to find a job. <– this option might be a good idea as a trial separation. Yep, I’m thinking along the lines of a separation of longer than what her work normally affords. I’d still be committed to her, just I’d be getting established in Australia and have access to counseling if I decide to and time to think with the support of my family.

3. Continue to stay here. I’ve talked at length with a close family member about these things and they reminded me that I can try to stick it out in China for a couple more months (even if that means us not being intimate or doing anything together – just kind of exist together without the full range of intimacy is no different to just being in another country I guess). Come back together and then see how things go without her work pressure. She might change completely. Certainly I’d have all of her attention – she won’t know anybody or anything and will have to rely upon me.

I never went with another girl. I did message that girl and consider going out with her but never did that because I needed time to process my feelings – esp. if I was going to make a permanent break. After all, we had been together for 2 years and I realized I couldn’t just throw that away. That tells you how far as I was pushed to make the decision to move out (she had messaged me earlier after leaving in anger and told me she was moving all her stuff out and leaving). Her text to me set me off and I packaged things out of anger.

She sometimes brings up the incident about the girl. Today she saw me getting so upset with her comments that she backed down and said not to worry and think so much and that the business with the girl was a small problem. That mo
I’m 28 and she’s 25. I began to wonder if it was a lack of attraction to me. Bored with me?? That’s bs. But then she turns around and talks about saving for a house and a good future. She was on the webcam laughing and talking away with her cousin’s bf last night but when it came to bed time, she hugged me, kissed my eyes (a sign of affection), started fooling around and then rolled over and went to sleep. All signs of a lack of interest in me. I am teetering on the edge of leaving.

I want to break up with my bf. we used to be really good friends but the longer we’ve gone out, the more tense it has become. he never really talks to me, he just stands behind me with his arms around me or hugs me. i do all the talking. ive tried asking him questions, but he answers with yes or no to everything. when we do finally have a conversation, we disagree and argue about it.

i just feel bad, because i know that he likes me A LOT, but i don’t feel the same way about him, i liked him more as a friend. he is going to be crushed if i break up with him, but meanwhile i am going to go crazy!!

Should i break up with him? How should i tell him if i do??
I need HELP!!!!!!

Thanks : )

Me and my boyfriend of over a year broke up mutually last night, but we agreed to still remain good friends and do stuff together, since we share the same group of friends. Although im really sad to have lost our relationship im glad we can still be friends, but how do i act like a friend when ive been his girlfriend for so long? what changes now that we’re not actually going out? Im having a really hard time right now and ths is my first breakup, so any help would be appreciated!! Thankyou!

My friend and I are good friends and we are both 16. How do i not make this award for the both of us???
what about us undressing?

I think i am in love with one of my best friends, Jason. [[ he's a guy im a girl. obviously]] but its really complicated. He dated one of my good friends last year, but they had a nasty breakup that ended up in a fight between my two friends Jaylan [[the one who broke up with him]] and Ella. About a year later they made up but Ella now had a crush on Jason. And through this entire thing, i never told anyone that i thought i loved him becuase he was my best friend and i didn’t want to lose him and i didn’t want to not be friends with ella and jaylan. but then ella stopped liking him he became available. but, of fourse, we get in a fight and now its kinda awkward between us and i don’t know how to tell him i think i love him or what to do.
please help. i really need advice.

*there is a possibilty he likes me. his best friends says so.

My wife and I got married about a year ago. We have had some small fights here and there but for the most part have had a good marriage until a couple months ago. She started this job and naturally made friends with people at work. I’m very understanding and trust my wife so I’m not controlling about who she hangs out with male or female. She became good friends with this guy and I have met him a few times. From first impression he seemed like a good guy and I had no issues with him. We got in a pretty big fight a few weeks ago and she eventually had him pick her up. I figured she needed to cool off and would be back in an hour or two. I feel asleep and woke up at 4 in the morning to see she still wasnt home. I called her and the 4th time she finally answered. She said it was a few people over there and that she tooks a few shots and feel asleep in his bed while he was sleeping in the other room. Sounds suspect right? I immediately told her later that I no longer really trusted him and would prefer they didnt hang out but when I told her about my feelings she immediately became defensive saying I dont trust her and that im controlling. She pretty much told me tough and I’m going to have to deal with it. Sense then we have gotten in a lot of arguements and EVERY time we fight this guy comes and gets her. I dont know what you all think but to me a guy coming to pick up a emotional wife is just weird and disrespectful. This guy is honestly to the point its ruining my marriage. Also they kiss each other on the cheek when they say bye but to her its friendly and respectful but to me its flirting. They constantly hang out and ive never felt so insecure in my life. Am I over reacting or would you say this is normal. What would you do? I know I will probably get like 4 people saying stuff like, "dump that whore" or " loose break up with that slut." Let me remind you that I’m in love with her and its just not that easy for me. Ideas and tips please???

So we were married for 28 years and had our problems. My then husband said he wanted to divorce me and move in with his secretary which he did. He lived with her for four months and then she threw him out. The divorce wheels were in motion and I didn’t want to be his wife any more either. In another two months he moved in with another woman the divorce was finalized in two years after that. I think I should forgive him and I have tried to, but it doesn’t seem to work. I says the words, I pray for him and them, I even tried the Buddhist practice of loving kindness or maitri. I tried writing out the feelings and then burning them up in a ritual. I am really stuck and it has been six years now. I have moved on with my life and he clearly moved on with his. How do I get free of these strong feelings of humiliation, anger, hurt, and feeling like I am no good. I have been to therapy and two divorce support groups. I have tried church and a Buddhist Sangha but the pain just sits there. I can function, have good friends and a good job. Any thoughts? Time doesn’t seem to be healing this.

I am good friends with a couple and they are thinking about divorce. I want to put something on my Facebook profile to let them know I am thinking about them and give them support. Any ideas?

2 years ago I was immaturely looking for love and attached to anyone who would give me attention. A guy in one of my classes rejected me, but we became good friends anyway.

After a long term relationship ended on unexpected terms a last year I decided to stop dating for a while. Months passed and my friend and I were talking in the park after finishing a project. It was rare for us to be alone because his parent figures hate me for whatever reason. But suddenly there was a click in my mind and I liked him again for whatever reason. I ignored it, but the feelings persisted and I still ignored it. But whatever I do I can’t get him off of my mind almost a year after that moment. It doesn’t help that I’m getting a bunch of weird signs like fortune cookies saying "Reveal what’s in your heart" But I feel like it doesn’t make any sense to my brain, but to my heart it makes perfect sense.

I just don’t want to do something stupid to ruin our friendship.

Well there is this girl, we will call her Chyenne, and we are pretty good friends. For some time I have been thinking differently about her. I have fallen head over heels for her. I just don’t know how to express towards her the feelings that well I’m feeling. I could really use some advice on how to tell her everything. Thanks : )