My wife and I have been married for five years. After a couple years worth of ups and downs and an inability to communicate effectively through what I think are some pretty normal marital problems, my wife decided a couple of months ago that she wanted a divorce. The decision came on the heels of a seemingly insignificant argument. We have gone to counseling only a couple of times and we have briefly lived separately which really amounted to me being home all the time, but sleeping somewhere else; not a whole lot changed – this is the extent of our therapy. My wife is adamant that she wants this divorce and will seek no further therapy, advice, or anything that would suggest the contrary; she also refuses a stricter trial separation to really test the waters. We have a 3 year old son and I’m trying to avoid this from happening but believe its now out of my hands. I’ve tried to amicably hash out a separation agreement and she is trying to secure a refinance on our house but I think she’s sort of dragging her feet. She got really upset the other night when we were talking about how we would divide our belongings. Oddly, if the subject doesn’t come up, watching us you would never know we were seriously contemplating divorce. Except for there being no outward affection everything is normal and we get along fine. I’m really concerned about how well she has thought this through and if her feelings could change once the ink dries, which I think, is likely to happen. She recently turned 33 and I believe she is having a premature mini mid-life crisis which plays some role in this decision. She’s at the point where she does not want the daily responsibilities of being a wife, mother, etc. She would rather be shopping, dinning, or partying to the sun comes up with friends.

I’ve been an outstanding husband and father and have really gone through a lot of grief standing idly by, taking care of my son, while she’s pursuing what makes her happy (above), but feel in my heart that if she thought this through she would see it’s not our only alternative, with help we could overcome this. Unfortunately I have not been able to rule out an emotional (maybe more) attachment elsewhere, can’t be sure. Talking to her has gotten me nowhere; she’s very proud (especially with me) and half the time she says A but really means B. She has expressed concerns to her friends that have gotten back to me and although it made me feel better knowing she still had some feelings, these concerns weren’t show stoppers. What would be the best course of action right now? Should I kill her with kindness and love and see if I can’t clear up some of her confusion in a good way? Should I make it easy for her to proceed with a divorce? Should I sit tight and I wait it out? Is she confused as to what she really wants or am I kidding myself? Anyone out there who regretted their decision to divorce? Do any women even identify? I need some advice!
I’ve had two comments question my sincerity and that’s completely cool. My wife will be the first to tell you the person I’ve been and she’d agree with what I’ve said – she’s told me several times. That’s what get’s me so confused and makes me really rationalize this as best I can and really search out answers from those who have gone before me. I agree with one response that’s there’s more to the story, I know my wife – I just can’t put the peices together. If I’ve done all I think I can do and it’s just not doing for her, then it’s not in the cards. Just looking for a little insight, that’s all.

So yesterday afternoon, my girlfriend of 2months broke up with me because she still has feelings for her old boyfriend (Who moved away to go to college, thus causing them to break up) Can’t say when this happened but I’m guessing it must have been not too long before I began dating her. When she told me this I was kind of shocked because everything was going fine.

I really like her, and I want her back. She can’t be with him simply because they broke up due to the distance issue. But perhaps she needs to time to forget about him.

Its only been one day, but we decided to still be friends. So my chances are still good I think. But how often should i message her? (We usually text by phone). What should I say to try make things better? Is ‘Give me another chance please’ to corny? She knows I didn’t want to break up.. I just want another chance, it feels like we could be so much more and this wasn’t supposed to happen…

I really want to make this work.. But I just don’t know how long I should wait to talk to her. I know I can make her like me, but I just need to talk to her and have another chance.. What should I do?

BTW I’m an exchange student in Japan, so language barrier is awkward sometimes, but she speaks english very well. My Japanese is pretty good too.. I just want her back.. D:

My husband has been clean and sober for 6 months now. I was ready to leave him 6 months ago, that’s why he went into rehab to start his recovery. He has been working very well on his sobriety by attending meetings, having a sponsor and seeing a counselor. He has also been diagnosed with bipolar in which he does take his medications for. But still, we have issues. He still makes rude comments to me in front of friends and family members. And, we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things now. He doessn’t seem remorseful for what he has put me through for the past 20 years or how he has treated the kids in the past few. I support him with his sobriety by taking care of our kids alone on my own so that he has time to go to meetings after work. I am a stay at home mom who takes care of all the finances and do what I can to keep his stress down. I even support him on having his hobby of rc truck racing. When I have brought up anything about how I feel, he tells me he can’t deal with any of that now because he isn’t at that step yet. I try to be understanding. But the pain just builds and builds in me because he doesn’t seem sorry nor does he see how rude and disrespectful he can be towards me. I get criticized for everything I do, including my parenting skills. My question is, is this good for the kids to have to continue to witness, me being sad and him being rude to me? How long does it take to see at least an improvement on the behavior? I am not asking for perfection. But a good start would be knowing that he was sorry and cared about our feelings. He doesn’t spend too much time with the kids, either. I am just wondering if I fighting a never ending battle.
Sincerely, Heartbroken

My dad is leaving in just over 2 weeks for a trial separation. But I don’t know what’s going on and my parents are keeping me in the dark. I know some stuff they don’t think I know as well. I know that my dad had an affair in 2003, but they have no clue I know. I think that’s what also happened this time but they won’t say just for me to find out about 2003 was extremely difficult and took a lot of snooping but now I just can’t figure out if my dad had an affair again, but I also don’t know what I’d think even if he did I mean he’s still my dad. He’s never really been violent or anything he’s been a good dad I mean he yells and I’m pretty sure he suffers from depression but I’m not sure. Regardless I like my family just the way it is but I think that my parents might be using the trial separation as a disguise to not hurt my feelings and they may have already decided to have a divorce I just don’t know.

What should I do? I mean I know I can’t stop the separation and I think it’s good that they are, but I also know that if they get a divorce they’re planning on my mom getting full custody and even if my dad was cheating I still love him.

Is there anything I can do to help? I want to have them stay together but I’m not selfish and if they don’t want to then ok get a divorce it’s just I want to help.

How should I handle the stress? I already suffer from some depression and this is not helping.

Me and my boyfriend are going through a tough time and im really frustrated with the way he has been acting. I want to express my feelings with a really good angry break up song . Any ideas?
Thanks!

He keeps bringing up his ex girlfriend and the horrible break up that they had and he says Im scared to get into a realtionship constantly, it bugs me so bad. He also gets mad almost everytime I make a joke with him. He’s just an emotional kinda guy and I have to get away from it. Im just really scared to hurt his feelings because the boy is fragile

I am going to couples counseling with my wife and I want to be able to express my feelings without being too offensive.

I don’t intend to get a divorce. But my husband is immature when it comes to dealing with his feelings. I understand why and am giving him time to come to grips with his issues. We were attending counseling together but he doesn’t want to go back. Meanwhile, I want to work on my own issues (we both had terrible childhoods). The counselor thinks that I should work on my issues but made the statement that our marriage might have been a mistake because my husband has a hard time dealing with things.
Should I continue seeing this counselor for my own issues? or seek a different one?

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday… but still told me she loves me but she had been going through alot of issues finances, and not eating etc. 5 days before she was fine. She basically told me that she needs space and that she thinks that by the space she will get her i guess mushy feelings back. The relationship was great up to that point, but she has a short temper and anything gets to her. I want to wait cuz i Love her also. what should i do and if im waisitng my time waiting for the girl i love. she didnt tell me that she never wanted to see me again or anything i figure she just upset and thats all. women help me out here!!!

so…i don’t like my boyfriend anymore. but i don’t know how to break up with him. what r some things to say that isn’t mean but u can use it to break up with someone? i basically only know one thing most people say to break up with someone without hurting the other person’s feelings. and that is "i think we’re better off as friends" what are other ones that are pretty similar like it wont hurt the other person’s feelings? thanks