I was never married to the father of my children. He was agreeing to the terms that I set out, now he wants to go and change them because our 5 year old does not want to see him. She won’t even go near his apartment door! He does not pay a dime to those children. He is not supposed to have time alone with the children because of uncontrolled sezuires and his girlfriend is the same way! They are on medication for that disorder but they never tell me if and when they go through one or more! I would be endangering the lives of the children. He also lives in a run-down apartment. I barely support the children on a 40-hour a week job and going to night school. What paperwork do I have to file and where, for child support and child custody?

The father of my children owes over 6k in back child support. He told me that he hasn’t told Child Support about his new job he got about 8 months ago. How do report this to Child Support Enforcement in the state of Oregon?

I have been married for 9 yrs and we have two very small children (both under the age of 3). For years we have been drifting apart for several reasons (my husband has OCD which caused years of stress, anxiety and hurt feelings, he was controlling, verbally abusive, I closed myself off to him, didn’t communicate, etc). Things came to a boiling point last year and I asked for a separation. My husband begged me to stay, we started marriage counseling, and with help of medication his temperament and mood have improved some. Things of course are not 100% great but there is less stress in the house than before and he has been trying.

Now the problem is me. I can’t seem to get myself back to the place where I feel close to him like a spouse should. I love him as a friend and as the father of my children but I am not in love with him. I like spending time together with him and the kids as family time but I don’t enjoy his company one on one anymore. I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want to touch him or be intimate. And as much as I try and force myself to do these things with him I just feel empty doing them.

I have told him all this, which hurts him. He doesn’t just want me to be his friend, he wants his spouse back. I don’t blame him. I want my spouse back too. I want to feel those feelings towards him again but I just cant.

Now our house is finally sold and I am at a crossroads at what to do. Should I continue on with him and buy a new house, or should I take this opportunity not having a mortgage and ask for a trial separation? I know living apart will be hard because of the kids but I feel like getting away from him is the only way I will be able to think clearly about all this. I feel that time apart will either make me see how wonderful he really is and how I do love him, or will just confirm my fear that we are better apart.

Should I stay or should I go?
We have been in marriage counseling for over a year now, going every week or every other week.