ok, the story here is very long, so i ll try to keep it brief

my darling wife and i have been together 7 years, married 5, we have two sons, 4 and 15months

our relationship has nt always been great, we ve had alot of good and bad times but i may have had my last chance

basically, i have recently been diagnosed with bipolar, undiagnosed as depression for a long time, stemming from a trouble childhood and drug abuse in my teens, and whilst i am not using this as an excuse, i believe it is a huge factor in why my marriage has broken down,

over the years i have neglected to show my wife the love she felt she needed, it was right at times but quickly ruined by my constant mood changes, arguements went from fiery to violent (on my side) never seriously injuring her but enough to physically hurt her, i dont remember much about it all, a red mist decended and from that my mind is blank (i am now seeking anger management help, but the violence is nothing like it was)

if that was nt enough for my poor wife i went into even deeper depression and rejected the support she tried to give me, i turned to another woman, i did nt have a physical affair but some might say it was an emotional one, she found out and quite rightly did nt believe me, to worsen matters i then decided i did nt want my wife and spent the night at the other womans house, again no physical affair, we did nt even talk, i slept on the sofa and returned to my wife the next day, she did nt want me to leave and i stayed, i knew through this i loved her and tryed to get help.

the help i recieved helped for a while, but the mood stablising drugs i was taking were effecting my work, me being foolish and thinking i was ok now just stopped them and the problems arose again.

all the time these things were destroying my wifes love for me, unbeknown to me, i was trapped in a suicidal, self harming bubble, every time i hurt her i cut myself.

fast forward to recently, things had nt been too bad, but things still were nt quite right with us, i was feeling rejected and she was starting to get more of a social life, i was feeling rejected and was beginning to think i had pushed her into the arms of another man, a friend she has at work, after talikng to her about it i belive she is nt seeing this guy and that he is just a friend, but my paranoia was making me think because i had done this sort of thing, then she may too.

i took an overdose of my tablets and ended up in hospital, this foolish act was the beginning of the end, it was getting too much for her and it really upset her, as she saw there was no reason for me to try to take my life
HOWEVER during my time in hospital, and the thought of losing my wife caused something to ‘snap’ in my head, i realised all my mistakes, felt the pain i had caused her, basically a real reality check, i accepted my mental illness finally, went to see my gp, got refered to a mental health team and started making changes

the love and affection i showed my wife over the last three weeks had been natural, she was still not right but i took that for being the shock and her not beliving i had changed, as i had said so many times before,

we went on holiday last week, a good holiday until i foolishly responded to flirty messages i had replyed to on facebook, she found the messages and quite rightly hit the roof, and that was the final straw, she wanted us to have a break so she could think of whether she could forgive me or not, i think she believes me when i honestly say it was a mistake, again the feeling of being rejected had made me think it would be ok to respond to these messages,

so here i am, now living with my dad, while she thinks on whether she can live with the memories of the last 7 years, shes not ended it properly yet, does nt want a divorce (yet) and says she still has feelings for me but is not in love with me (understandably)

this has hit me so hard, i know i love my wife so much, always have done but my neglect over the years has destroyed her love for me, she says this is nt a short break and she does nt know how long it will take to give me a definate answer, she knows i m seeking help to change, but i m not sure what else i can do, i will give her space, but at the same time i m wondering if we spend longer apart will it be harder for us to get back together, do i wait? try to move on? i m in limbo and not sure whats for the best

my love for her is so strong, we have talked alot and are getting on as friends,

i m not looking for answers, id just like sensible input into this situation

hope someone out there has some wise words or experiences

Phil

Husband is army, gone now, & I have been married almost 10 yrs 3 kids 1 autisitc. We have lots of struggles but always came through. I was DX Bipolar 1 & have huge trust issuses,on indiscretion on his part Ive been 2 counseling alone & w/ him. I guess when you forgive someone you have to, but I just get scared of him talking w/ women or lies about it. I called his room Mon nite & it was busy for 20 min. When I got thru he said he was in the bathroom The phones may have an issue or I must not know how to use a phone I got irate, he basically called me stupid, 3 kids were throwing up, diarhea, & he was gone, & he says I didnt no what i was talking about Finally he says its over, Im done, I want out, Im not coming home this weekend, take whatever you want. I dont blame him & I do I work @ kids school for schedule that fits our family, I clean, cook, pay all the bills, work, takin masters edu, and wait by phone, I shouldnt have been so angry, but im tired & he wont even talk to me HELPme

My daughter has bipolar but has been a single mom to three shildren since they were born. Ages 3 1/2, 4 1/2 and newborn. The father has been in and out of their lives since they beginning. They got married last year and split up again after 3 months. He always tries to upset her and make her angry then calls the police and says she is a danger to her children (bipolar). She is breast feeding and can’t take meds and is not a danger. She has provided a home, clothes, takes to doctors appts, school, etc. He doesn’t even keep a job. He took the kids and filed for a divorce then they reconciled for a few months which made his custody papers null. He used them anyway and took the kids. Now we are going to court. I don’t know what he has up his sleeve now but his mom has everything to do with it because he is unable to do anything on his own. He has a 14 year old that his mom raises and another somewhere else. He doesn’t even pay support. Do you think we will win in court?
I just wanted to add to my previous. When the ex tried to take the children after they reconciled he told the police we were hiding the children. One police officer told us we did not have to answer the door because it was a civil matter. Then he came again and the police let him take one of them after he grabbed the other one from school with old but most recent paperwork from court. It was the old order before they reconciled. It is a mess but I feel the police were in the wrong and there are too many things unsaid. It’s sad the children have to go through with this behavior. Hopefully the judge will see the whole picture.

What if the mom has medical conditions that affect her ability to be a good mother (i.e. debilitating migraines where she can’t even walk straight without falling and last for days, and bipolar disorder which cause excessive and uncontrollable temper outbursts, as well as periods of depression).

Nothing is actually happening, I’m just informing myself. I’d appreciate hearing any advice/experience.
If you were married in NJ, but now reside in NY—NY law applies , right?

What are any other factors for determining child custody?
I see a lot of people here passing judgements and taking wild guesses at the actual situation…to be sure I think most of these assumptions are mostly wrong….i.e. who is seeking the separation? her not me? My wife is an excellent mom when she is not having a migraine and/or in the middle of a bipolar episode.
PS: I show my child that I lover her mom all the time. I show my child I love her too. My wife is great when she is not acting crazy from her condition. When in the midst of her condition she has threatened me with separation….and she knows it’d kill me to take my child, so she threatens that too……
PS: I show my child that I lover her mom all the time. I show my child I love her too. My wife is great when she is not acting crazy from her condition. When in the midst of her condition she has threatened me with separation….and she knows it’d kill me to take my child, so she threatens that too……

Hi I am Canadian, I married an american women and have a daughter, I am about to undergo a divorcing process both my ex and we have both lost jobs. I have better chances of getting a new job in canada. should i file from canada or from colorado? …what are the chances if my daughter is in colorado that i can get the child custody if i am in Canada? what can i do? does it mark a difference if my soon ex has bipolar issues and pot dependency?

I am 23 year old and my wife is 20 years old. we have been married 8 months and dated 3 years. We both have full time jobs and attend college at night. Depression and Bipolar disease run in her family. In my opinion she suffers both. Anyway she told me the other night that she loves me but is no longer in love with me and that she wants a divorce. t I have beensomewhat distant from her because 1 year before we got married and about 3 months after we got engaged she had a fling with another guy. It was not physical cause i took care of that on the wedding night but I think that she honestly fell for the other guy but felt like she had to marry me. I went ahead with it because I thought marriage could save us BIG MISTAKE. I know I screwed up big time because I never really forgave her for the other guy and that made us grow apart. I know that her depression and the bipolar are affecting her decision to some point how can stall her till the depression wave subsides cause I do love her
Ya I have suggest her seeing a counselor but she thinks I am over the top and that She needs no help. I want to be with her but I guess it is kinda too good to leave but too bad to stay kinda thing. I know a lot of my problem is that I don’t take major change good and I like to hold on too long in relationships. Maybe she is right and we should split but I don’t want to be a worthless human being for 6 months or however long it takes me to heal myself.
To her if I say that she does something because of the depression it is like a cheap move. Like something only a lowlife would suggest as a cause to get their way
first of all I am not the only person that believes she suffers from the depression all of her close family members think she does and more times than not she will come out and ask questions like "how bad am I when I get depressed?" Now the bipolar disease has been found in every woman in the family for the last 4 generations and the family has stories that would move it out to 7 or 8 generations back. So I am not making this condition up.

A friend of my has a 2 month old son and he is wanting to get full custody. He doesn’t know weather he should settle in or out of court. The mother of his child is an unfit mother. She is an alcoholic, drug addict and bipolar. She leaves the baby wherever when she wants to be out partying. She doesn’t have a job. And to top it off she has a 6 year old daughter that she doesn’t take care of, she pawned her off on her dad. What does he need to do? She uses the baby to control everything and he only gets to see his son when she feels like it.

I’ve been in the process of getting a divorce for the past 5 months. My self esteem is down the toilet and I am rather depressed. Am taking symbyax 6/25 for bipolar disorder which treats manic moods. I just keep thinking about it – can’t stop. Any advice? Is it too early to start dating?

I need to find group therapy for bipolar disorder and abuse in Michigan and I can’t seem to find anything online. How can I locate someone?

It’s pretty much my last resort. I’m bipolar and meds alone aren’t doing enough. However, I hate calling people, especially strangers, and once I get into therapy my mind freezes up and I can’t speak much.