Just wondering, if you’ve been through a divorce did you get your children most of the time or 50/50? Also, how did your children handle the situation? I wonder if it’s better to stay in a verbal relationship until the children are 18 years old to bear them anymore pain?? Thanks in advance for your advise.

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I have a relaive.She has lived with a man for 18 years.They filed taxes as "married"the whole time.There are a lot of assets involved.Now,the relationship has busted.The house is in "his name"although she has bank records where she has been involved with the payments for the entire time.Now,the man is telling her she must leave,it is HIS house.So,how would the dissolution of a common law marriage work?I mean the division of assets.Should she see a divorce atty?They were never legally married.Anyone familiar with the law please help.Somehow,I am the "answer man"in the family as I know a lot of things…The law isn’t one of them.I’m thinking divorce atty,but am stuck on the fact that there was no marriage.18 years of building assets together though,seems she should be entitled to half?What to do?What is the first step?Thank you in advance

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I have been sick for about 1 year, I live in another state and I have the children 100% of the time do to violence from my ex spouse ( court ordered). My spouse hold all the assets. Married for 18 years. His argument is he shouldn’t have to pay money I should work and he should also be able to reduce support( all teenagers).

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My fiance has been paying child support to the county in New York for 18 years, due to his mother being on social services. Now his son no longer lives with his mother and my fiance wants to prove that so he no longer has to pay support , or can change the support to go directly to him. Any information would be helpful.

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We both have a significant other. We were never legally separated, but she has lived in California for at least 18 years and I in Oklahoma. We have 3 grown children. I have heard that if you put something in the paper for like 6 weeks that you want a divorce from her and she won’t sign then after a while the courts will grant you a divorce?

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My sisters daughter is heading of to college in the fall of 2010. She never knew her father, he abandoned her when she was just 3 weeks old and never signed her birth certificate. My sister and her husband make to much to get anything good on the FAFSA and he scholarship funds are limited. My question is, she knows who the father of Tori is, can she take him to court for a DNA test and then file for 18 years of backed child support to help out? Or is it too late for that? Any help would be great, thanks!

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If we married in IL 18 years ago and move to CA, can I file for divorce in CA and will their laws apply? Is it 50/50 still? What about if one spouse hasn’t worked for several years to raise kids? How does custody work?
That’s excellent help. But what about the 50/50 settlement? Is it necessary to have been married in the state of CA for the 10 year period for it to be applicable? Or is it 10 years total marriage plus a 6 month residency in CA?

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I am a mother of two boys, four and five. My husband is a cocaine user for many years and keeps promising he will never use again. After 18 years, I am throwing in the towel. I have been with him since I’m eighteen, not the best choice. I am mostly concerned about are children who love him to death. What do I say? Has anyone been through this and can offer some advice?

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I was 17 years old when I had my daughter by being raped. I was put into foster care when I was 5 months pregnant with her. When I turned 18 years old I moved out, I guess you could say that I was bullheaded. So anyway I moved in with my 3 friends in a 1 bedroom apartment. My real mother found out and decided to tell children services about my living situation. Children services placed my daughter with my mother and then 2 weeks later my mother took my daughter up to children services and told them that she could not take care of an infant. This was in 2004. So children services told me that they had to place my daughter into foster care and so I called my foster parents that I had and asked them if they would take her into their home until I could get everything settled. They agreed to it. So then children services made a case plan for me to follow. It said that I had to have my own place and maintain a stable job. 3 months after they put her into foster care I had gotten my own apartment and had a job. I actually had many jobs. But children services wanted me to have one job and keep it. I am young and I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to "be when I grew up" do. That wasn’t acceptable for children services. Well in 2005 my daughter was still in foster care and I just had a son. Children services added my son to my case plan and had me do parenting classes and so forth. I completed all of those. Well they still wouldn’t give me my daughter back. 2 months after my sons first birthday children services told me that they wanted to take permanent custody of my daughter. I was really down and depressed about it all. I tried to commit suicide a week after they had told me that. I ended up in the hospital for a week and a half. They placed my son in respite care while I was in the hospital. When I got out of the hospital I had to have a physiological evaluation done. I passed it except I had major depression. The caseworker said they weren’t going to place my son back with me due to my depression. I told the case worker, "Let someone take you kids and tell me if you get depressed.". The caseworker then put my son into foster care as well. When I went to the last hearing for my daughter, we had mediation. In the mediation it was either I sign my rights off and get to see my daughter or keep fighting and not see my daughter. I was young and didn’t want to not be able to see my daughter so I signed my rights off. I feel like I was tricked, I have only seen my daughter a few times since then. A month after that hearing they said they wanted permanent custody of my son. I didn’t sign my rights to him off. I kept fighting for 2 months, then they just took my rights away. The whole time I remained in my apartment that I had gotten, I always had a job, but just not 1 job. I feel like I was done dirty in the whole thing. I think that the foster parents and the caseworker had a scheme they were working on to get custody of my daughter from the time I had her. When I had moved into their place at first they had been trying to adopt a infant for a long time. My daughter was only away from their house when I moved out for the 2 months. So I feel like this was there plan. I don’t even get to see my son at all. I don’t even know where he is. I know where my daughter lives and attends school. But the foster parents will not let me see her. They said she is still adjusting. She knows who I am. I went to a school play of hers and she introduced me to her teacher as her biological mommy. She is only 6 and she remembers everything.

I want to know if there is a way that I can fight to get my custody back? I was not a bad mother. I never abused my children or neglected them. I never did drugs. I don’t even drink alcohol. I don’t like being in a different state of mind. Can anyone help me with things that I can do? I am still severely depressed by the whole thing. I think about them everyday and it affects my everyday living. I miss my kids so much. I shouldn’t be with out them nor them without me. Does anyone have any suggestions?
PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND BACK WITH NEGATIVE COMMENTS. LIKE I SAID I WAS AN EXCELLENT MOTHER!!!

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The marriage is 18 years. Both parties are guilty of infidelity. We have no respect or trust for each other. Our oldest child wants us to do marriage counseling. He told me he feels nothing for me. He is only trying because of the kids. I am willing to try to quit cheating. Nobody knows of my indiscretions. I thlnk he has feelings for his other woman.
He and I are guilty of infidelity. Our children are 15-10-3. Our oldest wants us to try marriage counseling. He has told me he doesnt love me. He still is taking care of the family financially. He is only here because he doesnt want to leave the kids. He doesnt know for sure of my infidelity. He suspects and we fight alot. We are both scared to leave. He has feelings for his other woman, I suspect. He keeps going back to her. What can I do to give either of us the courage to start over. We have been married 18 years and it is scary. I think in some weird way I still love him. I want to do the counseling. His family accepts his girlfriend over me. They invite her to family events. They dont want me around. I must admit I have went through 4 cell phones this month by throwing them at him. I beat him up the night I asked him if he loved me and he told me no. He also told me he has no feelings of passion toward me. We were seperated about 2 years ago and he moved back.

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