so whats considered fair in divorce, children and new relationships?
My bf pays support for 3 children at 0 a month, plus half daycare for the youngest who is still in daycare, he pays 55 % of all medical costs. He provides insurance on the children. His oldest son moved in with us for lack of his mother doing anything for him. he came to us with holes in his socks! They make the same hourly pay rate, he basically gives her 50 a month after everything is said and done. The 2 younger children are still with her for now and he still has to pay the same amount of support for 2 that he was paying for 3, is this fair?
To cover all the details, she had an affair on him they got divorced and now she cant stand me being in the picture so she uses the children to get back at him. She does not comply with the court order for visitations, his middle son also wants to live with us because he is being shoved to the side for his sister. She treats the 2 younger children totally different, like the princess and the pauper. the girl gets it all and he gets nothing, not even attention. if he is in the middle of a tv show and sister wants the tv, she gets it and he has to stop his show. I dont know if it is normal for parents to show that much favoritism between there children, but I dont do that between my own children and his. His middle son is begging to come live with us, we have to fight with him to take him home after his visits with dad. Dad has begged her for more time with the children and he would still pay her the same support, but she refuses to give him the children any extra time. She has a schedule she lives by, get up 4 :45 am go for a walk, leaving the 10 yr old to watch the 5 yr old for an hour. gets ready for work, kids go to school/daycare, gets off work at 3pm, does not pick children up until 5pm after her second hour long walk of the day and 45 minutes of working on a boflex, she also had a bit of an eating disorder. she only eats salad so the kids get pb & j or soup for dinner, they are ready fr bed by 7:30, so why cant he get his kids more? she doesnt do anything with them.
She always tells the kids that their dad does nothing for them and doesnt help her at all(refer back to the support details) they both make over an hour however thru the divorce he got the house and had to buy a new car, we heat with Oil and god knows the pricing on that these days, her new house is thru work and it is 0 a month ALL UTILITIES PAID, her car is paid for, etc. Yet she could not aford to put decent sock on her sons feet, she interacts with the children about 3 hours a day and wont let him have more time with them. He is thinking of going for partial custody so he can have his children more. Has anyone been in this situation before and what rights does he have to go for this and any advice will be appreciated. He really misses his children and he does help her alot with the kids financially. I dont understand why she puts him down so much and me for that mater when shes the one who had the affair, now its like she uses the children to hurt him because he really loves his kids! I dont understand this at all, even though I am divorced I do not use my children against the other parent, Im just happy that they are involved, isnt that the important thing. I think having a father is just as essential to a child as having a mother. In this case, unless she focuses more of her time on her children instead of leaving them in daycare until closing, why cant he get them instead of them sitting in a daycare, it isnt fair. Its not just hurting him either its really hurting their children as well. ADVICE PLEASE!!!
Tagged with: 3pm • bf • dad • extra time • favoritism • google • holes • insurance • medical costs • parents • princess and the pauper • school daycare • script type • socks • text javascript • tv show • visitations
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Jeez-o-pete. Honey, no one is going to read this. Well, almost no one.
In any case, there are no rules in love and war, as they say. Divorce is love AND war, all at the same time. People fight to win, knowing that the results will impact everything else they ever do. You’re experiencing what happens when someone fights and loses. All you can do is get start gathering together all the evidence and proof of what you are describing, get another lawyer, and fight back. I am afraid that is your only option aside of just taking it. She’s not going to change. She is not going to back down.
Well that certainly was a long story! But what it comes down to is that the kids are always the victims when it comes to divorced parents. Whenever a separation occurs,often parents never think rationally. They tend to bash the other parents in front of their kids and that is not right. Unfortunately, how she spends the child support is none of your business. That’s just the way it is. If the kids are being neglected, then your husband has just cause to report it. But he has to have concrete evidence, before he can do that, otherwise he will be labelled a troublemaker. When kids reach a certain age, they can decide if they want to live with one parent or the other, and the courts will listen to them. The thing is, as his wife you cannot interfere. You have to be the neutral one when it comes to his kids. If his ex bashes you to them don’t do the same back to her. Just be supportive of them and your husband. You both have to be the mature ones, don’t buy into his ex’s behavior.