Marriage advice to help me figure things out.?
My wife and I when we were dating couldn’t seem to go more than a day or two being around each other with out wanting to have sex. We were creative and had fun with it. Now we have been married for almost 7 years and for the past 4-5 of that time we go weeks and sometimes months without having sex or being intimate. I feel like my wife does not want to be with me anymore because when we do get intimate I always have to initiate it…I can not remember the last time she came to me and wanted to be with me sexually. What should or can I do to help the situation?
Some good advice so far but just to help everyone to help me I am a good husband I do what I am asked to do I am very loving and treat my wife like gold…also, I have spoken to her about this and let her know how I feel about it a couple times and things get better for a week or so then it is back to the same old thing. I do not feel I should have to start things up all the time. It makes me feel like I am not wanted or that it is more of a chore than a want.
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Im in the same boat but im the one that feels how you do. and its hard for me because i thought guys Always wanted sex and its me who is sexually frustrated. im not sure what to tell you because i don’t know what to do either. but i thought it mite make you feel better to know your not alone.
no one could answer that without knowing more about the relationship
you may be right about what you think, you may be wrong
maybe you should find that out first
Just spice it up a bit
Talk to her about it because when this happened in my marriage, it really had more to do with how bad my ex. husband was treating me… no one would have wanted to have sex with him, in that situation. If she feels that you are only affectionate, when you want sex, only nice, when you want sex, only help out, when you want sex, she is not going to be interested. Talk to her.
This is a common problem in marriage. You both start off hot for each other but then one spouse’s drive drops & the other stays the same. Talk to her about your frustration and see if you can’t find some middle ground between "at it like newlyweds" and going weeks w/out it. Good luck!
storm, what’s wrong with the man initiating it? get after it. she may have some self esteem issues, and may no longer feel attractive. she may be depressed. if there are certain issues or family problems that she has, even financial, people start to withdraw from intimacy. be a man. find out why. talk to her. make her feel that you are her best friend. good luck
because marriage is not a natural thing. do you see any other animals being married? no. they bang, have offspring, and move on to someone else. it’s the same way with humans, but we get to live under false pretense that marriage is the only way to live your life. because of this many people get lazy once they get married, and they don’t want to put the effort into keeping their relationship fresh. just because you’re married it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to stop trying to please your partner. you have to keep things exciting and new at all times, even if it’s something as little as going to a new restaurant, or a new venue, or taking a vacation to a different state/country. it’s also why many people turn into walking piles of fat after they get married because they get "too comfortable." they think that just because they’re married that their partner won’t leave them even if they are unhappy in the situation they are in at that point of life.
I am a firm believer that a wife’s sexual satisfaction is key to the success of a marriage. Many women are sexually frustrated and simply have no idea.
The biggest gift any man can give to a woman is to learn and perfect g-spot technique. There’s a lot of information out there on the subject, but a guy named Jason Julius does a free very specific tutorial on the subject which is very user friendly. However you decide to learn it isn’t important but, I urge you to learn it. It also has a way of making a man feel like a king.
If sex is your only issue then U should take care of yourself — but not outside the union of the marriage. If U want total freedom to pursue someone else then get a divorce. U should be intelligent enough to know that men view sex very differently than women. Men want it all the time, while most women settle down into other jobs of importance — like raising children or taking care of others in non sexual ways. If women thought about sex as much as men where would this world be? Who would take care of the kids? If U love her then talk about it, if not then do not hang around. There are so many different reasons why this happens and only U will know exactly why. Have U stopped shaving? Have U forgotten to tell her U love her? Is she sick? Is she tired from a full time job plus raising kids?
Problems like this are never simple cut and dried. There are plenty of ways to get the creative spark back. Use your brain. If she thinks U love her, then she will be OK with taking care of U. TALK 2 her!
Women need an emotional connection. Have you ever laid in bed at night and talked to her. Tell her something you have never shared with anyone else. open up, be truthful and honest. Share yourself with her, hold her hand, go to a deeper level, talk about when you first met…..she remembers as well. Help out around the house, women have a million jobs on their minds, and the last thing is sex, and by the time they reach the bed they are exhausted. I have been in a very similar situation. Men do best when they put the woman on the Pedestal and honor and respect them.